They cost nothing at all but sometimes they are worth the absolute world and despite the fact they are completely free not everyone possesses them. I am of course talking about those little things we call manners.
A simple please here or a small thank you there goes a long way in this world, especially when it seems every man and his dog are permanently rushing from one place to another but it amazes me how many people I bump into, sometimes literally, that seem not to have these basic words in their vocabulary. Are we slowly turning into a society where we just expect things to happen and where people are expected to act in a certain way?
Most mornings I do the school run with the middle brat and every day I leave his school seething at the sheer lack of manners shown not only by the children — who are excused to some degree with them only being five years old — but by the parents. If someone holds a door open for me I thank them and then either hold the door for the next person or at the very least give it a slight shove so that it swings open and stays there long enough for the next child-parent couple to pass through its opening. But does anyone ever say thanks back? Do they buggery. Over the past two weeks I must have held the classroom door open, or let someone past me in the jam-packed narrow corridor that one needs to navigate in order to drop off their little one, at least 30 times and I have not been thanked once.
Last week one woman barged through the classroom door into the hustle-bustle of the corridor with her huge black Silver Cross pram, almost ramming me in my stomach and then actually running over my toes as I strained to keep the door open for her. I was stood tip-toed, straining to keep the door open, my finger tips bent back in some yet-to-be discovered yoga position yet she did not thank me and despite her blatant assault on my feet’s digits she did not apologise either. Would it really have hurt to have said “thank you” or even “sorry.” I would have been much happier if she had just spat in my face or called me a fat twat because at least that would have meant she had acknowledged my existence.
It Is Even Worse When Away From Home
Not holding doors open really winds me up; to the point where I could actually scream like a queen bitch! A couple of weeks ago I was working in Berlin where most of my time was spent in the Grand Hyatt Hotel, a very upmarket establishment for sure but one full of people with no manners or respect for other human beings at all. One night — well morning actually as it was 01:30am — I had finished a long day’s graft and was heading off back to my own hotel, which was a 10-15 minute walk. On my back was my rather heavy backpack that was holding my laptop and all the gubbins that go with it so it is quite heavy but not so much that I over struggle with it. In each hand I held a one-litre bottle of sparking water, shamelessly stolen from our press room so that I did not have to pay €6 for one back “home.” You can probably picture I was not exactly fitted out for opening doors.
As I approached the eight-feet tall plate glass doors I saw a well-dressed man approaching and thought to myself that he looked like the sort that would open the door; how wrong I was. As each step drew me closer to the door the man’s own walk sped up somewhat and he arrived at the door before me. “Great. I was right, he’s opening the door for me,” I said to myself in my Yorkshire accent, in my head obviously, but to my amazement he opened the door so that it was ajar by only a couple of inches and he slithered through like the snake that he was, almost taking the end of his huge Roman nose off as he did so. He actually went out of his way to not open the door for me. I learned that night that the word “arsehole” is quite universal when it comes to the English and German language.
Whilst my sister and I were growing up our parents always ensured we said please and thank you when we wanted or received something and my own children have impeccable manners too; even my three year old. Manners are not hard to instil into the young, you simply do not give them anything unless the “ask nicely,” which usually means a please is thrown in the request somewhere along the line and you take whatever it is back off them if they do not say thank you for it. How difficult is that? So why do so many kids, at the least the ones I see on a regular basis not possess even the most basic of manners? Holding doors and other chivalrous acts are a little tougher to imprint into their tiny little minds but if they see you hold the door or help a person down some stairs often enough they will themselves do that when the situation arises.
Teach your kids manners by displaying them yourself and you will create a monkey see, monkey do scenario. They will thank you so much in later life because, regardless of what those with a distinct lack of respect for others will tell you, manners and politeness does get you places in life even if that place is only in a stranger’s good-books.
